When “I’ll just do it myself” becomes burnout

On the surface, perfectionism can sound like a strength. Who doesn’t want a leader or manager who strives for excellence and perfection? What’s wrong with having high standards? I hear this logic a lot. But here’s the thing: perfectionism is anything but perfect when it comes to leadership, burnout, and your well-being.

Perfectionism tells you a story: that your way is the safest way, that mistakes are dangerous, and that you’re responsible for making sure everything is done correctly.

And when you believe that story, it doesn’t just affect you, it affects those around you.

If you believe that only you can do a task correctly, you are much less likely to delegate it. Your team notices. Over time, they may stop looking for opportunities to stretch themselves because they have learned that you will step in anyway. They may become quieter in meetings. They may stop bringing new ideas. They may hesitate to make decisions without your approval. Eventually, they may believe that your standards are impossible to meet, and stop trying to meet them altogether.

Having high standards isn’t the problem. The problem is when your standards become so rigid that you can’t trust other people to meet them.

Perfectionism confuses two different ideas. There’s a difference between wanting work to be excellent, and believing that work is only excellent if you do it yourself.

This trap catches up with the leader. When you believe that only you hold the answer, you start to hold onto more and more work. You take on tasks that belong to others. You struggle to let go and elevate. The irony is that in trying to make sure everything is done perfectly, you may unintentionally create an environment where people feel less trusted and less capable, while leaving yourself overwhelmed by responsibilities you have convinced yourself you need to carry.

This is where burnout can enter the picture. This level of overwhelm may begin to leak into your personal life, showing up as inability to disconnect from work, constant stress, and rumination.

Working through perfectionism doesn’t mean suddenly becoming someone who doesn’t care about standards.

It means working on tolerating things being good enough without interpreting that as a failure.

It means allowing people to approach things differently than you would.

It means exploring how your self-worth is tied to feelings of achievement, accomplishment and control.

If you’re a high-achieving professional who feels constantly responsible, overwhelmed, or unable to switch off from work, these patterns may be worth exploring - for yourself and the teams you lead.

Virtual California Therapy for Burnout, Perfectionism, Leadership & Careers - LA, OC, the Bay, and anywhere in between.